SPAM into SPAM

Think of the fortune that some techno nerd could make finding the secret technique of turning message spam into the real thing. Selected Pieces of Assorted Meat [one theory of the name’s origin]–SPAM. The US has its CAN-SPAM Act. The EU is even more stringent, with its double opt-in requirement for subscriptions. Few people like the spam they receive in their inbox. Surprisingly perhaps, some (especially those in Hawaii) savor the compressed cube of meat and meat by-products packed in  a can.

Who first develops the software that doesn’t just block or delete spam but can make it into an edible processed meat product will surely be blessed with wealth. Well, at least make a few bucks. Consider–the edible ad product could be sent to WI-FI coffee shops where people could gobble it down in between web surfing, messaging or composing the next best seller. Or maybe provided at a discount to homeless shelters. Finally, imagine it’s use as dietary torture for interrogating terrorism suspects. Assuming they’re devout Muslims, pork (an ingredient in the original) is on the list of food prohibited by their faith. Never mind that the ads that go into the converted product might contain no pork.

Soon we might all be hearing Weird Al crooning his tune with a licensing agreement for an ad, “Eat it, eat it . . . “

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5 thoughts on “SPAM into SPAM

    1. Can’t say I like the taste either but the weird story line came to me from out of the “ether” as a funny piece.

      Grrr–just got this reply up because my internet was down all morning. Had a great time nearly finishing my office/desk cleanup for the new year. Always have non-computer stuff to do!

      1. Lol, don’t even go there. Started sorting income tax receipts to get out of the way. Should keep me busy the next few days. I’d rather clean 100 desktops 🙂 🙂

        1. Late reply on this comment. My notifications on this are at the bottom of my message bar and sometimes miss them for days.

          Actually, when my brain isn’t functioning well for writing and/or I can’t do internet stuff, that’s when I do financial stuff. For a guy who hated math in school, I ironically wound up being a budget analyst during my days in the cubicle farm. There I got expert at spreadsheets and financial analysis. I calculated my taxes last week (they’re way more complicated post-retirement than before) and was happily surprised to be within a net payout of something like $75 for state and federal combined (I can no longer reliably keep that close; life’s too complicated). Can’t file electronically for another 10 days or so.

          1. I hate accounting! My accountant charges a fortune, the more work I do for sorting and entries, the less my bill is . . .except of course when I’m audited, the rates go sky high. Don’t make me go there, I get ill just thinking about it. 🙁

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