Not your typical Valentine’s Day Fare, but I had so much fun with this last Tuesday when one of the writing prompts included excerpts from a book which today is most amusing. Perhaps people found it serious then, who can say. Here’s a couple samples from the book and my own take on dream interpretation. No doubt there are some who take the subject very seriously. This post, as you will soon see, does not. That’s not to say there may not be legitimate analyses of dreams, but humor is the point here.

Around the beginning of the last century, a man named Gustavus Hindman Miller wrote a book titled, among things, Ten Thousand Dreams Interpreted; Or What’s in a Dream/A Scientific and Practical Exposition. I am unaware if he ever served as a consultant to the Maidenform company, for those of you old enough to recall their odd commercials for a particular ladies garment. Here’s what he had to say regarding a couple of topics [from a Project Gutenberg file; public domain]:

Cabbage: It is bad to dream of cabbage. Disorders may run riot in all forms. To dream of seeing cabbage green, means unfaithfulness in love and infidelity in wedlock. To cut heads of cabbage, denotes that you are tightening the cords of calamity around you by lavish expenditure.

United States Mail Box: To see a United States mail box, in a dream, denotes that you are about to enter into transactions which will be claimed to be illegal.

Here now are my sample dream interpretations:

Elephants: To dream of an elephant means you will develop a great memory. Seeing an elephant’s trunk in a dream signifies you will soon be going on a cruise.

Trees: Dreaming of a deciduous tree suggests you are preparing to leave.

Tomatoes: Dreaming of whole tomatoes could mean you will be attending a very poor performance at a local venue. Dreaming of sliced tomatoes indicates that you will soon be enjoying your salad days.

Salad Dressing: Dreaming of a salad with Thousand Island dressing suggests a trip to the South Pacific is in your future. French dressing may mean either that you will soon be in a romantic encounter or that you could catch mononucleosis if not careful. Vinegar and oil dressing suggests you are becoming more health conscious.

Coconuts: Often indicates an aversion to dairy products. Can also imply a preference for certain movies, old and newer. Very old includes the Marx Brothers. Newer includes Pirates of the Caribbean.

Matt Damon: If you are a man, dreaming of Matt Damon suggests you should avoid signing up for the first interplanetary journey. If you are a woman, you will find yourself attracted to a man named Jason.